Saturday, May 26, 2007

Butterflies in my tummy!

That’s why I like it so much
When I have him online
I can capture every moment with him
And when I miss him I can just rewind
The tingles are always fresh
And the laughs remain sincere
I can be with him whenever I wish
And I like that there’s no fear
Now I’m waiting for a phone to ring
For a sign that he’s finally here
With butterflies in my tummy
His voice I’m waiting to hear
I’m wondering and thinking about this
I want the time to fly by
Coz every second that passes like this
Makes it harder and harder to try
I’m regaining my composure
Trying to remain VERY calm
But I know that soon I will lose it
And in this there is no harm
I already lost it when I never had it
And that’s not happening again
And now I’m eager not like my habit
Trying to gain all control on myself
BUT NO! I just can’t wait
When is tomorrow coming?!!
I believe I am bound by fate
But his song is the tune I’m humming
Please let him be you
Please let it feel right
Please let this be through
And ease up the fight
Please hold me together
And fill me with care
Please let me be better
And with us be fair
I’m leaving all matters in the hands of god
And I will feel clear whether it happens or not…

Saturday, May 19, 2007

As he waited for that call

As he waited for that call
The one that never came
With every time he hears the phone
He hopes to say her name
He remembers that he has no choice
He has to wait in shame
He might never again hear her voice
And she once had felt the same
He remembered what he told her
Back when they were together
He said those little things you do
Are what makes me search for better
You just come out of nowhere
With unexpected actions
Then you are surprised by me
You don’t expect my reactions
He remembered at that moment
While waiting for her call
That look on her face that day
Her eyes with her spirit fall
He didn’t believe he hurt her that way
He didn’t see it at all
He thought that he was doing ok
He thought he was standing tall
Then he noticed what he should have noticed
What was obvious al along
That all what he used to think of as flaws
Is all why he knew they belonged
He remembered the look in her eyes
When she looked in his eyes and he held her
He remembered the way that she smiled
When she made his heart beats double
He couldn’t believe
What he just let leave
He couldn’t understand the trouble
He might never hold her hand again
And he knows quite well
What he’ll feel then
How could he have said that there was better?
He should have just held on to her forever
And at this moment his beauty called
And his heart began to shatter
As her voice made him fall
Nor saying I love you, not saying she’s better
She only remembered she forgot her sweater!

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Feels like...

Feels like I’m losing
What I never had
His feelings are snoozing
The moment went bad
And it doesn’t matter
How much I ask
I broke something once
That’s hard to get back
But no matter how hard it is
If I’ll always try
I’m not giving up this time
I’m here till it dies
I’m not gonna go
Unless he asks me to leave
I’m not saying so
But I really believe
It is in our karma
To endure what just happened
I made a mistake
And I acted stupid
But then it will all

Work out for the best
We’ll take a decision

And then comes the rest
Whether for me
For her or another
The most important thing
Is I went out and offered
What’s bugging me now
Is how hard am working
It was once right there
Now my heart is aching
I’ll never forgive me for
Letting you go
Each day I remember
What you once let me know
Your words like a constant
Tape in my head
I keep on remembering
Everything you once said
I keep on reliving
The feelings you brought
It was really special
I spoiled it; I thought
It was very true from
Your side and mine
And here lays my hope
Even if you’re not tryin'

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Doing everything when doing nothing

“What did I do!” he said
With an innocent smile
He just messed with my head
And I couldn’t reply
He said you keep writing
And I don’t know how
I told him I don’t know
You’re doing it right now
He said I’m doing nothing
I told him but you are
And he seemed very puzzled
And that is the start
I just want to tell him

I mean every word
I just want to tell him

It’s true what he's heard
He just has to know
That he makes me fly
With nothing at all
I grin like a child
I don’t know what to call it
Or what is its kind
he makes me so happy
And he's not even mine
Well you know what?
He gives me inspiration
The purity of his words
Frees my imagination
And even some times
He doesn't really speak
And then his silence
Is all that I seek
And he keeps on saying
“I don’t understand”
He does when he doesn’t
And I really can’t
Explain how it happens
But it happens so fast
He's doing everything
When doing nothing in fact

No need to cry today

She is crying and he says
No need to cry today
She has to tell him that she lost
But he just won’t let her say
He tells her that he knows her
Knows what she’s all about
That she doesn’t have to act with him
but the others should have their doubts

He says you should be too hard to get
So when you’re got they won’t forget
How hard it was to get u there
Then she told him that it was unfair
She said I know you like me no more
She said your feelings are not like before
She said though mine are floating now
I don’t have the right to advise you how
I know that I lost you and that is my fault
I know that apologies don’t matter at all
But as we both know I can’t take it back
If only I could I’d return and attack
All of the fears and all of the lies
The fears I had inside of me
The lies I told me to disguise
All the pain I was trying to avoid
But instead of healing came the pain of the void
The void that your heart left behind
Although you probably do not know
You filled my heart and mind
He told her what you’re saying
Has nothing new
You know I wasn’t feeling
The same about you
You know that any pain this caused
You probably caused more
You know that it would be hard
To have it like before
So what’s making you say all of that stuff?!
She said if I may this time ill be tough
He told her are you really sure about that?
She said I’d break my heart if that’d bring you back
He said well I can promise you one thing
She told him what's that and what will it bring?!
He told her I promise I will disregard
All what you did when making up my mind
She told him that’s fair but go back to the start
He told her I promise I’ll try from my heart
She said I miss you though you are still here
He didn’t respond and she has no fear
She trusts that he will do all what is best
And if she deserves it he’ll forgive and forget…

Monday, May 7, 2007

2aly leh testa3gely!!

La2eito bey2ool mesh lazem delwa2ty
Wana kont khayfa ye2ool 7alan
W kan sa3etha lazem hamshy
W kont hakhsaro Kaman
La2eito bey2ool khody balek men nafsek
La2eito bey2oly matkhafisshh
La2eito bey2oly fakary kewayes
W mesh lazem ya delwa2ty ya mafish
2aly ana bas khayef 3aleiky
mesh mohem delwa2ty ana
lw 2olna en el mwdoo3 ba2a f edeiky
tedmany haye7sal eh f sana?
Fakary shewaya b 3a2lek
Shoofy enty 3wza eh
Kol elly ba2olo da 3lashan khatrek
Omal ana ba2olo leh
Lw 2olna hatemshy men3’eir tafkeer
W hate3mely 7agat keteer
Ye3gebek tela2y fel akher

enek enty kheserty keteer
Ana lw 3laya mesh hakhsar 7aga
Keda keda haksab fel 7altein
Bas 3ashan enty far2a me3aya
ne3mel el a7sanlena e7na el etnein
ana mesh 3awzek tendamy
lw me3aya aw ma3 3’eiry
ana bas 3awzek tefra7y
w ye7salek kol el kheir
ya benty enty lesa so3’ayara
mesh lazem testa3gely khales
la2eity nafsek met3’ayara
khofty men nafsek w khalas?
ana Kaman lazem at2aked
aktar menek da akeed
3lashan a3raf eny asbetlek
w terta7y mel awel w gedeed
tool ma7na mabsoteen delwa2ty
l eh tany me7tageen?!
w mafish 7aga momken nekhsarha
hanefdal l ba3d mawgodeen…

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Never will be sorry enough

I let myself go with the flow
I left my heart and I let you go
I let my fear control my mind
I watched me go as if in a tide
I never will be sorry enough
For what I did to you
I never will be sorry enough
For not coming through
I’ll never be able to defend
My inability to fight
I am saying this with all my heart
That you were really right
When you said I saw the closer ship
And that’s where I had to ride
This time I can’t defend myself
From mistakes I won’t hide
I’ve never been as stupid as this
I’m saying with no pride
Please forgive me for everything
Please see it from my side
Let me in and let us be
An important lesson this was for me
Let’s take our time to get it together
Just build it up make it better and better
I’ll never be able to stand alone
Your strength for my power and my strength for your own

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Before losing me to myself

Before losing me to myself
I used to be another girl
Before losing me to myself
I had a careful mind
Before being so out of control
I used to think I had it all
A mind, a heart, an awake soul
And I never had to hide
Before my devil broke me
I never used to try
To let my self be happy
I had my peace of mind
I used to let it be
Let my soul go free
Knowing my limited rights and wrongs
The things I put for me
Before I never used to think about a lot of things
Like I never used to doubt myself
I knew what my actions could bring
I never had a reason to think that I was bad
I never had a conflict in sync
With events I might have had
Well before I was so weak
Before I was also wrong
Before I did the right for reasons
Reasons that didn’t belong
Before I used to think
That the goodness was so clear
Before I never feared my self
I didn’t know what’s real
I didn’t think that my biggest enemy
Was in fact inside
I didn’t know that what could hurt me
Was the devil I was trying to hide
Now I know that inside of me
I have to face what’s true
Now Ill fight for what will be
And my weakness will hopefully be through….