With pleasure but just a second...

It would be my pleasure to let you go…It’s all I want to do
It would be great to have my peace… but I have to let you know
Even if it wasn’t the same
Even if it made you blue
Loving you was full of thrills
And it gave me a feeling so pure
I didn’t need you to love me at all
My smiles would catch me… if you let me fall
It was more than a pleasure… to be in love with you
Even if you didn’t know… it was really true
It bugs me to see it becoming a past
When I thought that’s it… I found you at last
But if I found something even you can’t see
How can I ever have it for me?
How can I hold on to a truth unknown?
How can I be in love… with a you that’s not shown?
That is if it is even there
To be frank I’m not sure I am being fair
I know your feelings are less than you show
I know I’m just asking for what you don’t know
I know you don’t love me
I know you don’t care
I know you want to treat me right
You don’t want to be unfair
I know I seem so crazy to you
I know you don’t understand
But loving you was not by choice
It was simply my heart’s demand
And what intrigued my soul even more
Is that it was a feeling never felt before
That feeling at first of total security
Although I knew you loved her with purity
When you told me to hold on and wait
At the beginning I didn’t hesitate
To fall into seas of an unknown fate
But then I got afraid of my shaken state
It’s scary I trusted you from the start
It’s strange that I knew it so deep in my heart
That you would take good care of me
And you told me what I craved will easily be
Maybe that’s why I am holding on
Because of your promise when it all begun
I still believe you when you talked with such confidence
And I am sure it is no coincidence
And although I know all what I just said
I’m still asking should I let it end.
Should I let it fade away from my head… now that it is easy to be just your friend?

just let me dance in peace

Around and around in circles
around eachother and far away
I was waiting for a miracle
and he was not eager to stay
I kept dreaming, kept on wondering
how my heart could be ok
thinking of ways to avoid the suffering
and not to bother him in any way
then the games kept on progressing
from my side and he didn't know
I had to act and be dismissing
while from my thoughts he wouldn't go
he never asked and he said nothing
but I said all whats on my mind
he said we're friends why all the thinking
I said in my mind u're SO much more
he didn't get my fear of trauma
though I had explained it before
realizing I was dancing in a drama
waltzing through life on a bumpy dance floor
and after that I told him I missed him
and he told me he sensed me no more
he said he felt guilty in moments like these
I smiled and I told him just let me dance in peace...

this is not like me! ( ana 3arfa eny 3'altana)

w 3ashan ana 3arfa eny 3'altana
mesh 2adra me3ak akoon nafsy
wala 3arfa at2al wala a3mel 7aga
wala 3arfa a2ool ely f nefsy
mesh 3arfa a2arab wala 7ata ab3ed
mesh 3rfa agarab aw 3la keda at3awed
3amala ba7areb nafsy b nafsy
w mesh 3yza fel la7za dy atgamed
abl ma ye7sal ely 7asaly
ana kont 3arfa enak 7asesny
w delwa2ty 7asak msh 7ases wala 2ader tefdal bassesly
w mesh men 7a2y as2al malak
w mesh 2adra a2ool el mafrood
mesh 3arfa a3mel eh 3ashanak
aw 3ashan a7es enak mawgood
men kam youm aw shahr keda
kont 3alaya bet7'af
wana 3ala keda mesh met3aweda
w da 7'alani menak a7'af
beny w benak e7sas taher
b sababy 7asa eno e7'tafa w geh makano le3b w ta2leef w 7agat tanya keteer mo2refa
fein kalamak ely kan beyhezeny
fein noorak ely kan beyemlany
fein alb kan bey7eseny
w kan bey2oly ew3y te7'afy
fein wa3d kan bena mwgood
eno law 7asal el mfrood
hatemlany be kol kowa hat7'aly ely fatny ye3oud
wa7ashteny w mesh 2adra asta7mel
ashoofak hena bas be3eed
w mafish e7'teyar 3'er eny akamel
w b sababy ana nary te2eed

Butterflies in my tummy!

That’s why I like it so much
When I have him online
I can capture every moment with him
And when I miss him I can just rewind
The tingles are always fresh
And the laughs remain sincere
I can be with him whenever I wish
And I like that there’s no fear
Now I’m waiting for a phone to ring
For a sign that he’s finally here
With butterflies in my tummy
His voice I’m waiting to hear
I’m wondering and thinking about this
I want the time to fly by
Coz every second that passes like this
Makes it harder and harder to try
I’m regaining my composure
Trying to remain VERY calm
But I know that soon I will lose it
And in this there is no harm
I already lost it when I never had it
And that’s not happening again
And now I’m eager not like my habit
Trying to gain all control on myself
BUT NO! I just can’t wait
When is tomorrow coming?!!
I believe I am bound by fate
But his song is the tune I’m humming
Please let him be you
Please let it feel right
Please let this be through
And ease up the fight
Please hold me together
And fill me with care
Please let me be better
And with us be fair
I’m leaving all matters in the hands of god
And I will feel clear whether it happens or not…

As he waited for that call

As he waited for that call
The one that never came
With every time he hears the phone
He hopes to say her name
He remembers that he has no choice
He has to wait in shame
He might never again hear her voice
And she once had felt the same
He remembered what he told her
Back when they were together
He said those little things you do
Are what makes me search for better
You just come out of nowhere
With unexpected actions
Then you are surprised by me
You don’t expect my reactions
He remembered at that moment
While waiting for her call
That look on her face that day
Her eyes with her spirit fall
He didn’t believe he hurt her that way
He didn’t see it at all
He thought that he was doing ok
He thought he was standing tall
Then he noticed what he should have noticed
What was obvious al along
That all what he used to think of as flaws
Is all why he knew they belonged
He remembered the look in her eyes
When she looked in his eyes and he held her
He remembered the way that she smiled
When she made his heart beats double
He couldn’t believe
What he just let leave
He couldn’t understand the trouble
He might never hold her hand again
And he knows quite well
What he’ll feel then
How could he have said that there was better?
He should have just held on to her forever
And at this moment his beauty called
And his heart began to shatter
As her voice made him fall
Nor saying I love you, not saying she’s better
She only remembered she forgot her sweater!

Feels like...

Feels like I’m losing
What I never had
His feelings are snoozing
The moment went bad
And it doesn’t matter
How much I ask
I broke something once
That’s hard to get back
But no matter how hard it is
If I’ll always try
I’m not giving up this time
I’m here till it dies
I’m not gonna go
Unless he asks me to leave
I’m not saying so
But I really believe
It is in our karma
To endure what just happened
I made a mistake
And I acted stupid
But then it will all
Work out for the best
We’ll take a decision
And then comes the rest
Whether for me
For her or another
The most important thing
Is I went out and offered
What’s bugging me now
Is how hard am working
It was once right there
Now my heart is aching
I’ll never forgive me for
Letting you go
Each day I remember
What you once let me know
Your words like a constant
Tape in my head
I keep on remembering
Everything you once said
I keep on reliving
The feelings you brought
It was really special
I spoiled it; I thought
It was very true from
Your side and mine
And here lays my hope
Even if you’re not tryin'

Doing everything when doing nothing

“What did I do!” he said
With an innocent smile
He just messed with my head
And I couldn’t reply
He said you keep writing
And I don’t know how
I told him I don’t know
You’re doing it right now
He said I’m doing nothing
I told him but you are
And he seemed very puzzled
And that is the start
I just want to tell him
I mean every word
I just want to tell him
It’s true what he's heard
He just has to know
That he makes me fly
With nothing at all
I grin like a child
I don’t know what to call it
Or what is its kind
he makes me so happy
And he's not even mine
Well you know what?
He gives me inspiration
The purity of his words
Frees my imagination
And even some times
He doesn't really speak
And then his silence
Is all that I seek
And he keeps on saying
“I don’t understand”
He does when he doesn’t
And I really can’t
Explain how it happens
But it happens so fast
He's doing everything
When doing nothing in fact