ابسط حلم..WRITTEN 10/10/06

لأنني اعتزلت الاحلام و تقبلت الحقيقة

لأنني تركت الالآم و مشاعري الرقيقة
لقد توقفت عن التفكير بقلبي

و بدأت الشعور بعقلي

و نسيت ما كنت فيه قبل أن احكم نفسي

أريد أن أكون كما لم أكن من قبل

أريد أن تكون في من القوة ان اعبر عن فكري المستقل

أن أقدر على الحياة وحدي

أن استطيع الاستمرار بدون احد يساعدني

أن استقل بذاتي عن كيان كاد ان يغرقني

اياً كان من كان في الكيان يشاركني

اريد ان اترك خلفي تفاؤلي المجنون

اريد أن ارى كل شىء حقاً كما يكون

اريد ان يسعى ورائي من يريد البقاء معي

اريد ان يحارب من اجلي من يرغب في رفقتي

اريد أن اشعر ان حبي صعب الاكتساب

وأن يشعر رفيقي بقيمتي في الحياة

أن اكتسب ذكاء لم أكن اعرفه

أن اكون شخصاً يبحث عن هدفه

لا اريد ان اكون ضعيفة

لا أريد أن اشغل بالي في كل دقيقة

أريد فقط راحة البال ونقاء القلب في الهوى

اريد فقط الاسترخاء

اريد أن اشعر بسببي في البقاء

My heart of glass.. WRITTEN (23/11/2006)

I’ve got a heart of glass
And a mind made of stone
A will strong in appearance
But weak when put to work
The glass was before shattered
The stone could hardly move
Mending the glass was difficult
Stone’s status has improved
My broken glass still has its scars
It still can break if it’s held hard
It scars do show, they spoil each rinse
They spoil each cleansing for drops are despised
Some new interventions that might be so welcomed
Are asked to re fix the scars that where rendered
Because if they don’t as soon as they press
The glass will pop and then they’ll feel depressed
The shattered glass pieces in their hands will hurt them
And my little glass heart will be broken again
Then my mind made of stone will become of metal
And my weakened force will be buried within…

hopeless romance ( ultimately fiction)..WRITTEN(7/6/2006)

I saw her today from the window of my car
Her hands were shaking helplessly her eyes were drifting far
The tears were running down her cheeks
She looked like a mess
I wanted to open my arms wide and hold her then we'd kiss
I kept watching her sitting still in my place
I wondered what she'd do if she only saw my face
Would I bring her more pain than the pain she's already got
Or will her beautiful teary eyes remind me of what I forgot
Either way I wont begin to risk her pain or mine
I just wanted to know one thing is it for me she's crying
Hasn't the scars that I've left been already healed
Does she still remember my words remember how it feeled
MY questions are selfish and harsh
I'm the one who broke her heart
I'm the one who let her go
and she asked me back and I said NO!
I almost drove away although I wanted to stay
But her eyes caught my eyes
and she didnt look surprised
Through her tears she simply smiled
She rolled down her window and looked at me
In a faint voice she said:" hey long time no see.."
She was being friendly after all what I had done
She said common help me you've been always the one
I couldnt believe she remembered the good times
she let go of all the times that I told her lies
I said:" I'm here for you like I've never been,
can you please just forgive me for what I put you in?"
She said:"I've always believed in you and I will always do,
I see the light inside you and I'll help it come through"
In my arms I held her and together we drove away
I will always be gratful for god's angel who stayed...

was for me... NOW dedicated to you sis!=>.. WRITTEN JULY 2006

She sings her self to sleep
As her wounds are very deep
Just what else could she do
She still loves him its true
She remembers his smell
It just makes her feel unwell
The pain becomes so real
She can't stop the way she feels
She knows she should be strong
That her weakness is so wrong
She decides to save herself
Store her feelings on a shelf
She started to believe
There's more she could achieve
She began to see herself worthy of someone else
She deserves a guy who sees her right
He'd give her love and for her fight
He'd know she's special
He'd see the truth
He'd comfort her and pains he'd sooth
But for now she has to let go
She has to be certain
And her worth she has to know
Some other guy will come along
Who's more perfect and he'd belong
He would give her a happy life
And then ask her to be his wife...

My first thought on blogspot

Living in this world you kind of understand that you are not living your pains alone... that with ever sigh of pain you let out someone else in this world has let out that same sigh out of the same pain; this person could be on the other side of the planet or just a few blocks away... that's why I found the need to share my expolartions, my perspective, my view about certain situations some feelings and the need to share my discoveries the way i see them maybe someone else can see my thoughts differently or more openly than I did... I've read amazing thoughts all around the blogspots that changed my view so I thought maybe my thoughts would help someone else enter a world they did not know...
P.S. Thank you yousy for that idea (adiny 3amalt blog w ba2eit ganbek:P)