My battle with time

So it was one month in a year
A year that was so cold
In the time I was possessed by fear
And my heart was growing old
I found my self so ignorant
Unable to please myself
I was starting to be reliant
Feeling like a picture on a shelf
Doing nothing to act
All I do is just react
A useless toy to be exact
Doing nothing for me at all
I wanted so much to wait and see
Try to find out how things will be
But then things turned out to be obscene
And I knew that minutes were running out
I found myself in a battle with time
That when ever I wanted anything it turned out to be not mine
And when something good comes along
I seem to feel it is just wrong
And when something does feel so right
I eventually turn out to be losing the fight
And then things are good at both sides
But then the matter of time makes us subside
As when I am ready the others are not
And when they are ready I am not
And if we’re both ready something stands in the way
And if it keeps on going like this I will not be ok
I am trying my best to be easygoing
Trying to accept how things are recently flowing
But my head hurts, my heart hurts and my soul is aching
I am desperately trying everything to keep my heart from breaking
I am trying to understand why happiness must be so hard
Why whenever I need something so bad it has to be really far
Maybe its because when happiness finally comes
The taste is so sensational it makes you over come
All the pain that you’ve been through
And all the things that ever broke you
That when you get what you want in the end
When being finally yourself not having to pretend
You tend to appreciate the things that you have passed
You tend to feel glad that you are there at last!